Tool #21 is Kindness in My Wellness Toolbox, it not only helps me feel good, it’s contagious and makes others feel good to.
Yet so many people still do not seem to be able to use this tool on a consistent basis, not only do they not pull out kindness, they use unkindness against others. Although something I have learned is that some people don’t even realise they are being unkind, that’s not what they would call it.
In most cases unkindness stems from jealousy, bitterness, insecurities, childhood trauma, difficult life events and the inability to look inwardly.
I sadly witness unkind words and actions on a daily basis across social media and have also been on the receiving end of unkindness that has had a direct impact on my mental health over the past few years.
Some of this unkindness has been indirect or passive, some haven’t even realised I am aware of their unkind words spoken behind my back, yet it still stings, it still hurts, it still causes anxiety and it still ends up being discussed in the therapists chair😅 (at times I do wish I could pass on the costs to the unkind).
Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you have to be unkind.
One of the best ways I have learned to deal with this unkindness is to be kind to the unkind. They need it most. It actually makes it difficult for them to be unkind to you. It encourages them to look inwardly at their own behaviours. It makes them a little kinder. It’s also annoys the hell out of them... and makes them squirm a little (whoops - is that unkind?) 😉😅
Kindness is one of the easiest tools to use yet some often forget to use it. I urge you today and every day to think about your actions and words and the impact you may be having on someone else.
💫 Try to only comment kind and positive words on social media. If it isn’t helpful, encouraging or kind just don’t comment.
💫 Do not make a point of using social media posts, WhatsApp chats etc to publicly ignore someone. That’s passive aggression.
💫 Do not judge a person, their actions or situation, especially when you don’t have all the facts. Chances are you never will have all the facts unless you can live that persons life
💫 Don’t lie.
💫 Do not lie about someone to support your version of them
💫 Do not speak unkindly about others either too their face or behind their back (9/10 it will get back to them wether that’s your intention or not)
💫 Think about why you are speaking unkindly of someone, especially if you don’t know them personally. Is that your opinion of them, or someone else’s? Have you got sucked in to someone else’s unkind and jealous ways?
💫 Think about why you are telling someone what someone else has said about them behind their back. Do they need to know? What are your real motives for telling them?
💫 If someone is kind to you simply respond in the same way
💫 If someone is being unkind ask them if they are ok, they may be having a tough time
💫 Protect yourself from the unkind. Set boundaries. Don’t surround yourself with people who make you feel less on a consistent basis. Smile and move on knowing you’ve dodged a bullet.
💫 Just be kind
Be kind to yourself and others. Every day.
Wishing you a day of kindness ❤️#mywellnesstoolbox #yourwellnesstoolbox #kindness #worldkindnessday #bekindtoyourmind #bekindtoyourself #bekindtotheunkind