Can we reinstall 2020 and install again? This version has a virus... and this version of me!!

Yes, yesterday I received a NHS Covid-19 notification advising that I have Covid... and WOW, even though I’ve never had to admit I have had one before, I am guessing this is what it feels like to confess you have a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). I was fascinated by the amount of people who have initially responded with “Oh no...where did you get it from?”.

Funnily enough I didn’t notice Bob in Tesco pop it into my shopping basket!! 😅

For me, the “normal” response when someone says they are unwell with a virus, the flu, cough, cold, <insert list of illnesses > is “Oh no, how are you?”.

Amazing what the powers above (accelerated by the media) has done to society on this one! Our first thoughts are not immediately with the “infected” but taken straight down the path of “How could I be/get infected?”. That is anxiety. That is the brain in survival mode! Most will not even realise they are doing it! ...and there is no judgement from here, I get it, it is how are brains are wired to deal with the threats. it is actually your brain working as it should. I find it fascinating!

So, how am I?

I am now on Day 5, I am ok and feel like I am getting better, for me, the symptoms have changed daily. It started with a bad neck and what I thought was a hangover (that wasn’t worthy). Sunday I had a fever and cough with the typical flu like aches and pains, this led me to the test centre (another blog coming soon!! Only me!!). Monday was much the same, I even managed a radio interview (possibly overdoing it). Tuesday the fever and headache cleared, still achey but then I am lying down all day. I am very tired and energy drains quickly. My appetite is beyond belief (it’s like I’m eating for 3), my taste buds are all over the place (as if I’ve had extra vinegar put on the chips). The cough is more chesty today and for some reason I keep getting the fits of giggles, full on belly laughs with tears rolling down my face! Bizarre. 

Emotionally I feel fine. I did shed a little tear yesterday when my 3yo got upset she couldn’t cuddle me and living in my bedroom is becoming quite lonely. I am able to put that back into perspective very quickly. I know my symptoms are very mild in comparison to some and I am able to manage this and recover from the comfort of my own home. Most people will. 

Is it making me anxious?

Not really. I haven’t had any health related anxieties, I trust my body is doing what it needs to do to help me heal (there is an affirmation in there somewhere).

I have had a few moments of anxiety about what others may think and if they will be annoyed they have to self-isolate because of me. I was able to remove these anxieties quite quickly. There is no blame and there should be no shame (old habits die hard).

Clearing my diary was also tough as it felt like I was releasing some great opportunities, yet I simply remind myself “Happening for you, not to you”. Everything will happen as and when it should. 

I also have the wise words of my sister, who also has Covid, with a few more weeks experience than me. No! We haven’t been in contact, in-fact we haven’t seen each other for months and live 45 miles apart. What are the chances?!! (I can feel the DNA conspiracy theorists getting twitchy). She has experienced a level of Covid stigma and can also confirm that judgement is not really a helpful medicine during these times! However, she has also experienced some wonderful support from the positive people in her life, from food parcels to surprise gifts, she has been kept smiling and reminded how loved she is. That has been her medicine. Something I am very grateful for as I can’t be there to help her. 

What tools am I using?

All of them. The Top 5 haven’t left my side and I have also been using the power connection tools - talking, laughter and acceptance daily!

...and now I have a little more energy I’ll be pulling out the Writing tool a little more. I do have another 9 days to go in isolation, maybe book 3 is on its way!! 😅

Ultimately, I tested positive for Covid-19 and I am fine. It’s not nice, no flu-type illness is, so please do what you need to do to stay safe ❤️