This is me age 5. When I wanted to be a nurse.

Many times in early adulthood I would say I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. It was during my latest healing journey that I was reminded that isn’t true. As actually there have been two periods of time in my life when I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Age 5 I knew when I grew up I wanted to be a nurse.

So what changed?

I was handed a limiting belief. Not intentionally, no one did it on purpose, nor to cause harm or to hold me back. Yet this is a fine example of how what we are told as kids can have an impact on the paths we take in life and how we can be diverted from following our dreams.

From an early age I was scared of blood. I can’t recall the first incident that happened to establish this fear, if it was my blood or someone else’s, or the time my parents realised this was a fear. Yet I can recall several times when I became really upset or distressed at the sight of blood. There was one occasion I fell in the school playground, I had a graze the length of my leg, initially it didn’t bleed and I stood up with no tears, but then the blood started coming and before the dinner lady knew it I was in full on distress mode, the school had to call my parents to come and calm me down. Apparently there was one occasion I fainted in-front of the telly when Casualty (or something similar) was on. This fear was also rubber stamped when age 11ish I was sitting alone in A&E waiting for my Dad & sister (who was being assessed with a painful knee) and a Road Traffic Accident victim was rushed in via the wrong emergency entrance and parked in-front of me. So much blood. Not good. I had nightmares for a long time.

Until recently the sight of blood has made me feel sick, squeamish and anxious, not ideal with two little Swifts who graze their knees often.

So I guess it is no surprise that as I was growing up I would be told the following things by different family and friends in my life:

“Oh Ali you couldn’t be a nurse, you are too scared of blood”

“If you can’t handle a little cut like that on your knee I don’t think you could be a nurse”

“…such a drama Queen”

“How on earth are you going to have babies if you can’t cope with the sight of blood”

“Ali? Childbirth?” (Cue laughter)

“If you get so scared going to hospitals how do you think you could be a nurse?”

“If you don’t get over this how are you going to help your kids if they get hurt?”

No harm was intended by any of these comments, quite reasonable questions and normal responses in most scenarios. However, they would continue to reaffirm the “fear of blood” and would also start to build on the limiting belief that if you are scared of something it will stop you from doing the things you want to do. In this case if I was scared of blood I couldn’t be a nurse. So I diverted from this path. I also, like most, never took steps to address the fear of blood and what the root cause could be.

Then last year I had both psychotherapy and hypnotherapy. Both allowed me to let go and release limiting beliefs both consciously and sub-consciously for many things. Including my fear of blood.

Just because you’ve been told you are scared of something or just because you actually are, doesn’t mean you always have to be, no matter how deep rooted. You really can retrain the brain. Amazing.

I actually haven’t consciously got to the root cause of why I was scared of blood (it could be as far back as my own birth - fascinating), yet sub-consciously the fear is no more. This has been validated a few times, most recently last weekend when Elouise had blood pouring from her lip and the white toilet looked like it was part of a murder scene. I didn’t bat an eyelid and handled the situation extremely calmly. My sister was there at the time and it didn’t go unnoticed… “Wow - when did you stop being scared of blood?!”

…now where is that application form to be a nurse? 😉

So, please, if you are not following a dream, not doing the things you really want to do in life, not doing the thing you wanted to be age 5, I want you to ask yourself… “Why?” …because if you think you can’t then I am pretty sure you have a limiting belief that can be released… anything is possible.

In Your Wellness Toolbox there is an exercise to help you start the process but for the deep rooted stuff I would recommend professional support ❤️

…finally… could you be reaffirming or validating your children’s, family or friends fears and limiting beliefs? Often we are not aware that this is what we are doing, we are simply empathising and protecting them, or projecting our own fears… yet if they have irrational fears that could hold them back try to encourage them to find a way to let go of them sooner rather than later.

There are lots of tools to help them ❤️

Have a great day x